A Waxed Conclusion
by Maggie Mae from Penny Lane
Summary: Hiroki finds a "gentleman's" magazine full of guys with perfect bodies in Nowaki's apartment. The solution? To wax the issue, of course.


**No, guys, Junjo Romantica isn't mine. **

This was all Nowaki's fault, he was sinking more and more each day! These where the thoughts going through a certain brunette sitting in a spa, waiting for his turn to do what no man with dignity does. He was going to wax. Really, he did not need it too much, he came out like an overall male version of his mother, sans the hair and eye color, but he had gone to Nowaki's apartment that day to set up for Nowaki's 20th birthday. As soon as he entered, he found lying there, peacefully, a glossy magazine of some sorts. He picked it up and saw that it was full of men, NAKED men, with completely smooth and hair free bodies. Was Nowaki disgusted by hair? Hiroki had to admit, he barely even shaved due to his lack of facial hair, and his chest and back were hair- less as well, but he had some blond little hairs in his arm pits, and of course, his pubic regions. Come to think of it why were they BLOND, was that normal? No, Kamijou Hiroki's life, as much as he despised it, was full of abnormal circumstances.

He knew he should have just gotten mad at the fact that Nowaki had some weird porno magazine in his apartment. Nevertheless, he supposed it was natural for young men to have a porn stash in their house, and Nowaki did not know Hiroki was going to his apartment, so he did not have time to hide it, not to mention he had had a collection, once upon a time, himself. HE of course threw it out after meeting Nowaki, but Nowaki was just turning twenty, it made some sense. Luckily it was not a magazine with women, he definitely would have lost it at that point. Also, he supposed, his insecurities were getting the best of him, and the waxing could just be part of Nowaki's birthday present. He could set aside his pride for a moment. Maybe he should have done this while drunk, it would be easier.

"Kamijou Hiroki-san? We are ready for you."

"Sounds like some cult introduction.", he muttered as he went to the back to lose a portion of his dignity, would he be dressing as a nurse next year? That KID had turned him into some sort of desperate girl! Maybe if he summons a hole right now he could be swallowed by it and not go through it.

'These thoughts are absurd!', Hiroki mentally chastised himself.

The lady doing the waxing was not so scary looking, she looked very welcoming. She was also, rather petite, did her height help her wax better? He hoped so. It is amazing how fear makes you note such unusual details.

"Good morning, um, you had said that you wanted to wax all over your body, but, I do not see what hairs you would want to remove?"

"No, I-I ju-u-st wanted to do-o it in my arm pits and...", he trailed off rather awkwardly, while blushing and unconsciously looking down.

The girl giggled, she giggled! How humiliating.

"It's okay, don't be nervous, the more you think about it, the more painful it will be. Just relax, it will be over before you know it,I am very fast."

Hiroki nodded rather dumbly and proceeded to lay down. He was so scared! Hopefully, he was just over reacting and it will not be that painful.

"Good day, sir, we hope to see you again.",The receptionist smiled.

Hiroki quickly lowered his head and walked away, well, more like wobbled away. The pain was unbearable! He felt like EVERY inch of his body was burning, even though, it had not been done everywhere. Tears were threatening to come out, how do women do this, this was torture! He had no choice, but to go to Nowaki's apartment, it was only a couple of blocks away, and he was not in the mood to go home to come back here anyway.

He got to the apartment and took his clothes off, and proceeded to take a very long bath, with cold water, Nowaki had given him First Aid training, and cold water was better for burns.* The water soothed him and he relaxed, maybe he was just being dramatic. No, he was not, that had hurt SO much! Even so, he had to admit, despite the redden skin due to the irritation, which was going away now, his skin felt very smooth and touchable. Nowaki better throw that magazine away today! He knew deep down, that was all he wanted. Was he not good enough that Nowaki needed a magazine to finish feeling satisfied? They screwed more than rabbits!

After he got out of the tub, he went to lay down on the bed for a while, not bothering to change back into his clothes. He was just going to be there for a bit, and Nowaki wasn't going to come until 5. It was only 1, so there was no hurry. He also had everything ready, except for himself.  
>With this final thought, he closed his eyes and drifted off to a wonderful, and much desired sleep. Forgetting completely that he was naked and sleeping in his lover's bed.<p>

'What is that noise!'

Hiroki slowly woke up to an annoying sound. He rubbed his eyes and noticed it was his phone's alarm clock that he had programmed to sound at 4:45. Except it wasn't 4:15, it was 5!

He jumped out of bed, and began trying to dress himself as quickly as possible. Due to the rush, he forgot where he was and started looking for clothes in the drawer, only to remember his clothing was on a chair! He went towards it and had gotten his briefs on when a cheeky, smug, and ANNOYING laughter interrupted him.

"Hiro-san, you behave like a child in trouble when you're nervous!"

Exactly for how long had that brat been standing there? His whole body had reddened very quickly, he was also rather exasperated, so his solution was to ignore him and circle the area looking for clothes currently located in his hands. Which was why Nowaki assumed he had gotten a fever and ran to check his temperature.  
>It was not very common to see his reserved beloved look a bit delusional.<p>

"Nowaki, stop that, I'm looking for my clothes!"

"Hiro-san it's-"

"Shut up! I'm busy!I want to get dressed."

"Exactly, which is why-",

He grabbed Hiroki's wrist and pulled it to his face.

"I'm trying to tell you, it's in your hand."

"Ha ha ha, th- that was just a te- te- test!"

Nowaki smiled and replied, "Did I pass?"

This kid was overdoing it! He was too cheeky. Though, now that the adrenaline rush passed, he remembered the excruciating pain he was feeling in his nether regions and his arm pits. And the drastic change in Hiroki worried Nowaki even more.

"Hiro- san, lay down, you seem to be rather unwell."

"I'm fine, I just can't walk well."

"Why? We didn't see each other yesterday! Ahh did you use something else because you miss-"

Hiroki put his hands on Nowaki's mouth, was he really just now going to say Hiroki used toys? If only that idiot knew how much discomfort he was in, he would not be doing this! He probably deserved it for recently acting like such a girl.

Unbeknownst to Hiroki, Nowaki knew exactly when he could get away with teasing Hiroki a bit. His reactions were just too cute! But he really was worried Hiroki was acting, well, bizarre. More so than usual, anyway.

"N- no, I ca- can't walk, because today, I went to wax.."

He trailed off, he wasn't able to finish that sentence. Nowaki, had a bewildered look on his face, was he really that cruel that Nowaki would think it impossible that Hiroki would wax for him? He really needed to start showing him more affection. That could be his New Year resolution.

"What would Hiro-san want to wax? You hardly have any hairs."

Would everybody just quit reminding him? He was obviously aware! But the men in those magazine did not have ANY hairs! Why was Nowaki acting like that?

"Well, I have hairs! In my arm pits and do -down there."

"But Hiro- san, your cute little blond hairs are adorable."

"They are not adorable and don't call them little, anyway, why would you like them when you have those men with no hairs anywhere on their bodies! Don't act innocent, I saw your magazine!"

"Hiro- san, I'm studying to become a doctor."

"I know that! Don't change the subject so bluntly, I'm-"

"Hiro- san, it is necessary to know the human body perfectly in order to become a doctor, and we use pictures to study those parts, since we can't study the real thing in a classroom."

"Why do you insist on talking to me about your stupid career? I saw your magazine, and I saw those men, they were hairless, so I just went out-"

"Hiro- san, that "magazine" is what I use to study the external and internal organs of the male body! They have to be hair- less in order to see the organs better and to identify any abnormalities! It's not a porn magazine, I would only have one if it was full of Hiro-san!"

Hiroki decided to put aside that LITTLE comment since this was just too much for him! Had his efforts been in vain? Was this really happening to him? Maybe this time that hole will open up! Sadly, after mentally summoning it, the hole would still not come.

"So then where's the magazine with the women? I didn't see it!"

"Ah, well, there are pictures of women in there as well. Had you looked even closer, you would also see that the pictures were not of real people, they were just really good graphics. If you give it to me, I'll show you."

He would, except, he had "accidentally" dropped it into the cake mix, thus, giving him no choice but to throw it out. It could have easily attracted ants had he not. He had purchased a multitude of cake mix, so it was not a big deal to throw out the cake mix as well.

"The dog I bought you as a present ate it. Which is why I took him back to the pet shop and he's not here right now!"

He felt awful. He threw out a perfectly good book which Nowaki needed for school all because of his insecurities and overreactions! Now Nowaki had to buy another one, and he barely had money as it is. So much for a happy birthday.

"I'll pay for a new one with the money I got back from returning that dog."

"Don't worry about it Hiro-san, how about I just enjoy my birthday present? Thanks to the waxing I'll have even more access!"

"Access to what, pervert? And who said it was for you? I did it because I wanted to!"

"Yes, of course, Hiro- san. If you ever feel like wanting to do something again, I really enjoy-"

"No! From now on, all I want to do is eat and sleep."

"Mmm, you read my mind, I also want to eat and sleep. I could start with eating your neck and then go slowly downwards until I get to my dessert."

Hiroki was rendered speechless. The only thing crossing his mind was how he would get through tomorrow with such a sore bottom. After all, with that statement he could only conclude they'd be eating all night.

Needless to say, Hiroki was practically carried home the next day and Nowaki got a new magazine, which he kept at school, just in case Hiroki ever felt like "buying" a new dog again. Even though Hiroki was well aware that the landlord did not allow pets and Nowaki could never care for one, what with his jobs and school.

Epilogue:

"Hiro-san, look what I found when I took out the trash."

There in a clear plastic bag was the magazine covered in cake mix that Hiroki had thrown out the day of the birthday fiasco. Why would Nowaki bother to take it out of the trash? How humiliating!

"Did the dog also throw up after he ate the magazine?"

Kamijou Hiroki, despite all of his pride and knowledge, was once again speechless because of some BRAT!

*** I think after waxing what you should do is exfoliate and use warm water, so as to open the pores and cold water closes them, which is worse. But, I tried thinking like a guy and I guessed they'd compare it to a burning sensation? I don't know how that matters, I just thought you might want to know.**

**Note- This is like the first story I wrote, and I just kept re-writing it and editing it like a million times, and I wasn't going to post it, but I figured I might as well, since it's already written and hopefully it could entertain somebody stuck at home due to Irene (like me) or just, you know, anybody. Well, you know, thanks to anybody who's read and if you enjoyed it (or not, hopefully you did, though) thennnnnnnnn, please let me know! **


End file.
